Looking down at me, she had a look of pity for me. Shaking her head softly, she then made her way out.I started to get cried out. To his credit, Van had simply sat there and watched, trying to soothe me. Finally, after probably fifteen minutes, I was done. Well, at present. Sitting back up, I wiped my runny nose and looked for a tissue. Not finding one, I simply wiped the slick snot on the bedding. Van chuckled.“Well, you are starting to act like a guy.” His smile was wide.“Huh?”“Guys can be pathetic slobs, among other things, and it is hard to look like a guy, and act like a guy. You need to start to do that right away. If you don’t, some gay guy is going to take a shine to you, and trust me, unless you like it back there, it’s going to suck. I had that happen to me. It was the hardest thing I ever did, punching the guy with all my strength like that, but I learned something. Guys have way more strength than girls do, especially when they are angry. You’ll learn that, too, at some. ... Enough of these thoughts. The bell rang just as I say that. Ishould be getting to my next class.... The rest of the school daybecomes the same. I heard a few more things, like a few girls gettingjealous of me, which I laughed a little inside at the thought of thatactually happening. I also didn't see anymore of my abusers. Other thanthat though, school was the same. It ended with a final ring; I got onthe bus, and finally arrived home. I went to my room, fell on my bed andlooked at the ceiling.So this is my existence. This is what will happen every day if I juststay the way I am now. Did my being a girl really change anything? Abit, yes, but it was largely the same. Although it would be harder if Iwanted a friend now, as I'm sure that a lot more guys would want me as apartner or possession more than as a friend that would love me. I'm surea lot of girls wouldn't get me either since I still largely think like aguy (at least I think). Nothing had really changed in my mind exceptthat.
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